Friday, 31 January 2014

Inflation Report From The "Afterworld"

nb: this article is for those who believe in the afterlife ...

Recent reports reaching me from the afterworld suggest that, our ancestors are experiencing some extremely rapid hikes in the percentage increases in the prices of goods and services. Some of the most famous of this phenomenon recorded on earth was the hyperinflation in the Weimar Republic between June 1921-January 1924 and quite recently, in Zimbabwe. That which happened in Germany (Weimar Republic) was mainly caused by borrowing to fund their participation in World War I, while that of Robert Mugabe's Zimbabwe between 1999-2009 was mainly attributed to a sharp drop in food production. The report i got from the afterworld suggests something similar, if not worse.

The first question I asked the afterworld newshound was "is there a common currency in the afterworld or there exist a Forex Bureau?" He looked at me and the obvious hee-haw was for close to 65 seconds. He paused and said "you must be crazy!" ... then the hee-haw continued. I was confused, to be frank. This afterworld newshound was making fun of me. But the whole idea of a persistent rise in the percentage increase in the prices of goods and services in the afterworld baffles me. What are these goods and services there? Are there central banks there too? No, I seriously need some answers ... do general business activities go down there?

Friday, 17 January 2014

The 21st Century Church

I grew up questioning faith, God's existence and the legitimacy of miracles ... even as far back as Sunday school. Just after BECE, I had a chronic back pain from long hours of religiously pinning my butt down behind my books. I was trusting God for a miracle ... fasted and prayed. God's time for that miracle did not unfold. Then there was first year in SSS where a man of God predicted before the whole congregation of students, that I'll lead them as their school prefect ... which materialized. Why i sited these two personal examples in this article is left for the reader to decrypt.

These days, "the Church" has evolved into one of the most lucrative ventures around, considering the existence of  a constant, and a tried-and-true revenue source, which of course is tax free! Most pastors these days enrich themselves with the accumulated 10% on the incomes of the congregation [of whom most struggle with paying bills]. 31st Night "Cross-Over, Leap-Over, Jump-Over, Box-Over, Sword-Over" services granted most pastors a favorable juncture of circumstances to preach about sowing seeds in cash to reap God's blessings in prosperity for the coming year.

The grass eating congregation
We heard the report from Uganda (20th March, 2000), when a self-styled prophet lured and burnt more than 500 members of his congregation, including children, after he had succeeded in convincing them to sell all their belongings and donated the proceeds to him as license to heaven. Then of course, the pastor who was remanded for whipping a church member to death in 2009 right here in Ghana. Just last year, there were reports of a pastor lashing the congregation for sinning, including pregnant women who visited the hospital ... again, right here in Ghana. Then the 11th January story, where a pastor in South Africa convinced his congregation to eat grass to get closer to God.

The man of God who stands on his church members ...
Writing long is not my style, and this article seems to be getting long. I haven't even established a point in here, but I believe scattered as each paragraph may be, readers can extract their own denotations. I leave you with this picture .. >>>

Thanks for reading.

Thursday, 2 January 2014

The Side-Boo of The Side-Boo

Ekow met Obenewaa online, on Facebook
Both claimed to be in a relationship
Obenewaa was dating a married man
And Ekow, with a girl he claims to have "devirginized"

After a long night of sexting on whatsapp
With Ekow emphasizing he's yet to cheat
Obenewaa didn't have a problem with philandering
But deep down within him, he wanted to "TTA"

Two days after knowing themselves lushly
Obenewaa asked Ekow to visit on the third day
It was around 7pm and he knew he'll sleepover
If he's to "Tap That Ass", she'll be his second ever