Friday, 14 February 2014

From The Economy With Love ...

The economy gave me a call last night, .. a long call, which lasted for approximately five minutes. "Long" because mostly when he calls, we talk for less than a minute. He was not happy about how we keep being vocal about his condition ... the fact that many are complaining that they can't even afford a bar of chocolate for Valentine's or National Cocolate Day ... 

The Economy: Economista, Ghana fo kasa! All they do is to blame me for everything, even in their dreams!

Economista: Massa, slow down! What do you expect from Ghanaians, when your headache has refused to disappear. You know your headache is the migraine of Ghanaians!

The Economy: Blame the doctors! The diclofenac they gave me was nothing but white tablets made of kokonte powder.

Economista: You are not serious! Let me ask you this ... how do you explain my empty wallet facing tomorrow's Valentine's day and National Choco day?!

The Economy: Economista don't be silly! You are to show love to your friends everyday, shower them with gifts and presents every day and stop this valentine nonsense, I expected you to know better!

Economista: Economy Kwaku, but here is the case you're so sick ... I can't even afford a new boxer every month, let alone surprise my friends everyday. Inflation is now over thirte....

The Economy: Massa Massa, I have told you not to talk about figures with me when I call you, I hate that. Listen, tell Ghanaians I'll be fine. And for this tweet ...
I forgive you. When I share my problems with you, I do so knowing our relationship automatically buys your silence. Agya Appiah Bitters has been helpful I must admit.

Economista: Well I'm sorry .. The earlier you get better, the better for us. When your condition gets to me, I just put my frustrations in ... [busy tone beeps] 

Thursday, 13 February 2014

Fishing Bulls

The cow caught at sea
Astonishing events? Visit Ghana. This is the only country in the world, whose economy eats fufu with ivory chopsticks, and calls a $1,000 apartment the burj al-arab. We have come very far with miraculous events in 2014, with the Cedi winning gold medals and breaking records in "skiing". A post on the Cedi will come tomorrow, but today ... we are fishing for bulls!

I would not even attempt to explain this, but if i were a fisherman and a net i did cast at sea over three hours catches a bull, I will gallop a million times faster than the rate at which the value of the cedi has fallen against the dollar over the past two weeks. And this is not even the first of such phenomenon. A group of fishermen also did catch deer at see! This is extremely healthy for the economy ... a miracle is what this economy needs, and such miracles are so much needed in the Cedi's performance against the dollar.